I'm finding it difficult to keep going in Houston. It would be so easy to bolt. Quit school, move back to Dallas, or maybe Austin. Run away from my problems, and cross my fingers that they don't pop up again.

But I know I can only run for so long. My problems will follow me until I decide to get real with my self and do the work. My drinking is just a symptom of problems buried much deeper. It's like an onion, layers upon layers. I never realized how horrible my coping skills are, and how inconsiderate and selfish I can be because of them.

The experiment failed. I didn't do the real work and bullshitted my way through it and betrayed the trust of two people I respect. I did the bare minimum, and suffered internally the whole time. SO who wins?? Nobody. Coming here was a mistake, because I wasn't ready when I left.

My family is upset with me. My only friends close to me here are upset with me. I'm upset with me. It's all very upsetting.