The last person who hit on me is 21, claims his favorite artist is Lil Wayne (who?), and want's to take me out to "the bar", probably to feed me shots until I'm feeling uninhibited enough to grind on his nether regions while the DJ plays some shitty top 40 bullshit.
This is my life. FFFFUUUCCCKKKK. Can anyone challenge me?? Please?
I know, I'm here to work, go to school, save money... I don't have time for men. Really, I don't. But I miss them, and not just the sex. I miss being somebody's number one.
The last person I really thought I shared an amazing connection with just informed me he has a girlfriend, which is good... I can get the fuck over it now, and I truly want him to be happy. But I still wonder, why her?? Why not me?? (uh, 1,500 miles is probably the most logical answer... but still, I wonder).
I'm the pretty girl, the fun girl, the easy one. Not the one good enough to keep, just the one to have around for kicks.
I feel timing and space had doomed me. Anyone I'm interested in is far too good for me, or lives far too far away. Anyone interested in me is either too preoccupied and smart to go after anything real, or is an idiot.
I don't want to be in a relationship per say, I just want to care about somebody, and know that they are there for me. And hot sex, I want that too.
I know I don't need it, I just feel like there is this void in my life.
2 comments:
Your post shares echoes with what was happening to a friend of mine years ago. Eventually she got what she really wanted from life. Like you she has a strong mind. That was the key to clarify things and stay intent on her goals.
You could have been my #1.
- Alan 'stylez'
Post a Comment