Let the moment go, don't forget it for a moment though

I keep finding seashells in my purse, constant reminders of the magic he's made of. 

Every time I see a picture of him my stomach gets butterflies, my breath short, and my head dizzy. It always hurts when you realize you cared more for somebody than they did for you, or that your desire to be near them far surpasses their desire to be close to you. I should have realized it after looking at the pictures from the photo booth, me reaching for him in almost every one, him looking forward, hands to his side... it's all in the body language.

I think I should have left on Monday when we both were pining to be near one another, maybe it would be different. I wish I hadn't opened myself up so completely, allowed myself to be vulnerable. I wasn't asking for anything more than what was already happening, but that seems to have stopped. The rational side of me knows it's probably all in the timing and logistics, but the emotional part of me keeps replaying that weekend in my head, looking for the moment I did something wrong. Silly me. 

I don't know how much of what I experienced was real, the words, the feelings, any of it. I guess it was just a moment, one peculiar passing moment. 

"See you on the playa" he says.

Sure, see you then.